Posted on 20/7/09 by Felix Geisendörfer
Thursday, July 2nd 2009. Officials announce the death of XHTML2. Multiple suspects, including HTML4, HTML5 and XHTML1 have been taken into pre-trial custody.
The investigation is difficult. XHTML1 seems to have no motive as XHTML2 was his son. The father can barely speak about his loss without bursting into tears. However, he is a very strict man and everybody knew he had extremely high expectations in his son. Could his bad temper have killed XHTML2 for making a simple mistake?
HTML4 however has a motive. He was once the big star in town. But then came XHTML1 and took that fame away. Every theater, including "the Fire Fox", "the Opera" and "the Web Kit" loved XHTML1 and told HTML4 it is time to retire. Not only that, many critics also saw great talent in his son XHTML2 who was competing with HTML5. So did HTML4 kill XHTML2 out of revenge, to free the way for his own son?
The prime suspect of course is HTML5. He was a direct competitor to XHTML2. The two had very different professional opinions. XHTML2, just like his father, was a strict perfectionist. HTML5 however is often characterized as a forgiving, practical performer. But investigators have found that HTML5 had the support of many cutting-edge theaters since at least 2004 and had no reason to fear XHTML2's competition. Did HTML5 feel he had to kill XHTML2 to simply destroy his strict philosophy?
3 years later. Investigations on the XHTML2 case have long been closed. XHTML2's death was classified as suicide. The media said XHTML2 could not gain the support of any major theater and killed himself out of desperation.
Now a new case is erupting the news landscape. HTML5 had a step brother, XHTML5, and his body was just found in a motel room. He was the new leader and last hope of a movement called "the semantic web". Probable cause of death - microformat overdose.
XHTML5's death marks the end of the movement. He and his followers thought they could make performance art accessible to a new audience of robots and intelligent machines. Those machines were very hungry for information, but could not understand performers like HTML4 and HTML5. "The semantic web" thought that by enforcing the strictness invented by XHTML1 and through the heavy injection of microformats they could perform at a level of perfection that could bridge the gap between the visuals and the underlaying information.
From early on, the "semantic web movement" was very violent. Non-supporters were labeled as reactionists. The standards developed by the movement made them totally blind for reality. The biggest theater, known for its greedy operators and huge audience, "the Internet Explorer" simply ignored the movement.
The XHTML family died because it wanted to write and perform for humans and machines alike. But the machines were not ready for it yet and wanted their own performances. Accepting this truth ultimately helped the humans who could now enjoy more entertainment & knowledge than ever, thanks to their automated friends.
=== The End ===
If you did not like the performance, entrance fees are unfortunately non-refundable. But feel free to release your grief over the death of XHTML in the comments.
-- Felix Geisendörfer aka the_undefined
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